Well...lately i've just been super stressed. I try to hide it but sometimes it just doesn't work. Getting ready for college is one of the most stressful things a person can go through. I'm sure there are more stressful things but for me in my life this has been the hardest one by far. Its not fun and there are times when i just want to throw my hands up in the air and throw it all to the trash. I know that i shouldn't use this thing to vent on but i decided it probably would be the best thing to use. Its not like anyone really reads it anyway, right?
I feel like...i don't know. Its like i'm on a completely different plain and that there is no one there to help me or to listen to me. And i can't help but feel like there's no way to control my life. Its all moving so fast and i just wish it would slow down for my slow pace i have going on. But i guess if that happened then it wouldn't be life. Life is supposed to move by at super speed and it doesn't care who it leaves behind. It will contuine to go on and on even though you might want it to stop. I just wish there was something i could do that could change that feeling i have.
I'm sure everyone goes through this stage and that it gets better down the road but i can't help but feel like i'm getting left behind.
I'm like a slow race car and i hate the feeling. Why can't i just have fun and enjoy life? Is it because i'm worried sick about Caleb or is it that i'm afraid of what could happen when he does come home? Would i really be ready to get married if he asked me in 2 years? Could i? I have no idea. I love the idea of that. But...there's no garentee that i will marry him anyway but its just a explination i guess.
I want to marry him...dont' get me wrong he's the greatest guy i've come by yet. I just don't know where my life is going to be or where its going. Its not fun at all. I feel like a small fish in the huge sea...and its all dark around me and i can't see anything in front of me. I'm blind swimming through this life and i don't know where i'll end up at. All i can do is just hope that i find my way around the big 'ocean'. Well i suppose this is all for now.
3 comments:
I know exactly how you feel. I have been feeling like that for a long time now. I feel like life is running away from me and I am trying to catch on to it...but everytime I try to grab onto the rope I can't slow it down...
wierd explanation I know...but it is how I feel.
At least we both know how it goes...sigh..oh well...one day we'll grab a hold of that rope and we'll be on top of the world. :D
well.....i can see were thats going but you know that you cant talk to me about the stuff cuz i lission even though i don't seem to be lissoing. cuz you cant keep it in yourself for a very long time cuz then it will backfire on you and you'll expoled in to tears and it will be harder on you unless you get it off your chest. Even though i have not been through it i understand some stuff. And your not falling behind your just looking for a reason to stop from your feelings so it feels like the time is leveing you behind but its not your right with it you just don't want to deal with the pain it has and you want to feel no pain at all but everyone has to go thorough it in. i know you know the everyone has to go thorough it but i dont want you to keep to yourself like i do i dont show my emotions much cuz i dont want ppl know how i feel in the long run cuz i want them to be happy and not have to worry about me so i don't tell ppl or show it much. so i just want you to try and talk to someone even though the blog is an okay place to wright it down but it dose not really help much just to wright it down cuz thats when you'll always see it and never forget it. i'm not saying its bad to remember but you don't want to read it all the time so i would feel better if you don't wright it down on your blog cuz i dont think its the best thing. but you don't have to lisson to me cuz your older than me but i'm just telling you what i think so ya.
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